For the Love of Words: The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad...

...Week!

To be perfectly honest, so many unfortunate things have happened that it is laughable. I'm actually quite tickled thinking about it! To preface this account, there are two things that you, the reader, should be aware of.

I don't do vomit. I mean, I really don't. I know it is an un-pleasantry that no one particularly cares for, however, I truly cannot handle it. I go on the verge of a panic attack when I am nauseous... and literally run away (usually crying) from anyone/anything that is gagging. When I got seasick on the boat in Alaska, I was crying and shaking for fear of throwing up. When Montana (my b-a-b-y) threw up at the beach, I was on the balcony breathing fresh air before she had finished spitting up. I don't clean it up, either... that is equally as bad.
I am allergic to cats. My nose runs, my eyes swell, I get little hives on my arms and neck... You know, allergic.

Last Friday (the 18th), I began house-sitting for my sister's boss. This all came about because I had some creepy happenings at my apartment (you know, someone writing "beautiful girl" on the outside of my apartment, etc). Jen's boss, Shari, was going out of town for a week and wanted someone to house-sit and keep the animals. I said I was willing. It would be a bit of a sacrifice (commuting from East Atlanta to Marietta) but at least then I would get an idea of the commute. Jen is looking to buy a house in the city, and I would love to move in with her (again, getting away from creeper at my apartment). I met with her boss a week before they left town... She tells me all about Stanley (their chow mix that I had met before) and then mentions something about cats?

"You know we have 2 cats, right?"

"Um, no. Jennifer didn't mention that."

"Is it a problem?"

"Oh, no. I'm just allergic." ...hahaha. The cats are kept out of the guest bedroom, so it really wasn't a problem.

Day #1 - Lost Cat

Friday evening when I showed up, the humans had already left, and I let Stanley in from the very nice fenced-in back yard. He seemed happy to see me, and we went looking for the cats. I found Erma (the gray one) and positively could not find Eddie (the orange devil). I looked everywhere. Could he have gotten outside while I was bringing my suitcase in? I went outside and looked under the cars...no Eddie. What in the world!! After a solid hour of searching and jingling the cat toy I was assured would attract Eddie, I sent Shari a text asking letting her know I could not find him anywhere. She gave me a few places to search and sure enough there he was. I was just glad "I" found him. He is a very skittish cat, so I left him in his hiding place and went back downstairs. The next 24 hours went by without any drama.

Day #2 - The Gagging Begins

Saturday I spent some time with Jen looking at houses... and Saturday night, after all the animals had been taken care of, I crawled into bed, exhausted. And then I heard it. Gagging. It was way too loud to be coming from a cat... Stanley.

I got out of bed, went into the living room just in time to see Stanley spit up neon-yellow frothy vomit. On the rug. I turned away, trying to calm my stomach and my own gag reflex, and then tried to figure out what I was going to do. I mean, could I get by with just putting a newspaper over it for a week? I had 9 days to go 'til Shari got home... No, I decided I had to clean it up. I grabbed half a roll of paper towels and scooped it up. It came up easy enough, and there wasn't any dog food or anything in it, that was nice. Stanley looked at me, obviously smiling, and wagging his tail. Gee, I'm glad you feel better. After a 2nd shower, I went to bed.

Day #3 - The Storms Set Up Camp

Sunday morning I woke up, got ready for church, and storms were overtaking the entire Atlanta area. Just as I had gotten ready, Eddie (orange devil cat) threw up, hairball and vomit, and guess where it landed? On the rug. Oh I really don't have time for this. I started crying. Yep. And gagging. It took a lot out of me to get it cleaned up... and by cleaned up, I mean, a roll of paper towels and half a bottle of Resolve... I don't mess around with cleaning. I scrubbed my arms (didn't have time to shower again) and finally left for church. The roads were terrible. By the time I got on the connector, I was thinking I probably shouldn't have even tried to go to church. I hydroplaned ... but safely made it to church. After a short chorus of "Jesus take the wheel" from the small group leaders, we had our small groups and I headed south again. I didn't go to service because the weather was horrible and I knew the animals got even more skittish in storms. Not to mention Stanley was outside.

I made it back to the house after church, and luckily it hadn't been storming too bad there. Stanley was fine, and dry even, so he came prancing in. I fixed some lunch, and realized I didn't see the cats anywhere. I went upstairs, only to find 5 or 6 half-dollar size red spots on the white carpet that looked like diluted blood. And a pile of vomit. At that very moment, I got a text from Shari... "I saw that it is still storming there. Everything ok?" ... I decided just to call her. I filled her in on what I found, and she sent her neighbors over to check things out (again, I'm not a cat person).

The neighbors diagnosed the spots as blood in urine, the vomit as diarrhea, and took Eddie to the emergency vet. Not vomit? No problem! Please, someone, explain to me why I am okay cleaning up poop but not vomit. After I got everything cleaned up, I met someone for coffee and called it a day! Eddie came home that evening... Apparently he has an inflamed bladder, caused by stress. Awesome.

Day #4 - The Beginning of Sleeplessness

I tucked in to bed early, only to be awoken by Stanley at 12:30am-- he apparently felt like the thunder needed to be barked at. I sat in the hallway outside the guest bedroom with the poor guy as he fell asleep in my lap. About 1:30am the storm had passed, so I went to bed. Another one came at 5:30am... and we repeated the process. About 7:00am I got up and checked the weather... storms, storms, storms... There was no way I was getting back on the interstate during rush hour, and no way I was putting Stanley outside all day. I let some time go by, and when there was a break in the rain about 8:30, I loaded Stanley into my car to take him to Doggie Day Care. Yes, for you non-animal owners, there is such a thing. After driving 6 miles out of my way (I entered the vet's address on accident instead of the day care's address), I finally made it, got Stanley dropped off, and headed north. The rain and storms were terrible, again, with no relief in sight. I made it to the office, maybe about 10am? I got about 30 minutes worth of work done before lightning struck our box and our network went down. The lightning was insane, none of us wanted to be on the phone... couldn't get work done.

Around noon I got a call from my sister-- she was being emergency evacuated from her apartment complex because of flooding. Are you kidding me? I waited around for the storm to chill out before I left (again, not eager to get on the interstate) and when there was a little break in the rain, I headed south again. After talking with Jen, we decided I would just meet her at her office... Normally I take one exit, and my GPS tells me to take a different exit, but this day I decided to follow the GPS. Thank God I did!! The road that I normally take was flooded and impassable. Once I made it to P'tree St, I had less than a mile to get to Jen's office... and that .65 miles or however long... took me over an hour. With the connector closed, parts of 75 and 20 closed, and tons of side roads closed... traffic just couldn't go anywhere. I finally met up with her about 4:30, and we plotted a course of action.

I called the Doggie Day Care (there was no way I was going to get there by 7!!) and they said that tons of people were in my shoes, and they would be there late without charging late pick-up fees. We checked out her apartment, and per recommendation of the Fire Dept, packed up about a week's worth of stuff and left. The water was 9 ft deep in some places-- completely submerging some of the apartments under water. We left and headed toward the Doggie Day Care facility to pick up Stanley... we got to him by 8, and went to the house. Luckily, there was no more drama with the cats! However, Stanley and Montana do not get along, so Jen and Montana headed north to stay the night in my apartment.

Day #5 - Trip to Chattanooga

After several phone calls the night before, we all decided that I would take the morning off from work (our computers were still down so I couldn't do much anyway) and meet my mom in Chattanooga with Montana. That way, Montana would be taken care of, and my sister could stay with me at Shari's. That morning, after checking to be sure roads were clear and weather was okay, I headed to Marietta to pick up Montana from my apartment. We drove north, seeing some incredible flood damage around Allatoona and Chattanooga. I met my mom for a lovely Panera lunch and then made it back to Marietta, to work, about 5 minutes before the computers came back up!! I got a lot of work done, left close to on time, and had my small group in Buckhead that night. What a "fun" story I had to share with everyone...

Day #6 - Hump Day

I was not sad when I woke up Wednesday morning, knowing that I had made it 1/2 way through the week... I was really hoping no more drama would ensue...

I was speaking at 180 (our youth service) Wednesday night and spent a lot of the day at work preparing for that. Wednesday was a pretty great day, and thinking about everything that had happened was making me laugh at this point. 180 went pretty well, too, so that was good! I got home late, of course, took care of the animals, and eagerly went to bed. I was just exhausted and worn out...

Day #7 - Devil Cat Strikes Again

About 3:30 in the morning, I woke up startled. What was that noise? Is someone in the house? I was terrified. Then I heard meowing... Is the cat ok? Is there someone in there with him? It took me about 20 minutes before I got out of bed; I was really scared! Then I heard the toilet lid shut. What. I checked on Eddie and sure enough, it was just him in there, and he was apparently tired of being confined to a bathroom. Kitty litter was everywhere (and I meaneverywhere) and he had been playing with the toilet. All I could think was, and people wonder why I don't like cats?! I went back to the bedroom, obviously wide-awake... 4:00am. I picked up my book, hoping reading would get me tired again... My eyelids finally started getting heavy, and I turned the lights out. 3... 2... 1... Meow. Meow. Meeeeeoooooooow. Are you kidding me? Woke me right up again... Decided to ignore it, keep the light off, and try to sleep. 3.. 2.. 1.. Meeeeeoooooooow. Meow. Meeeeeoooooooow. This kept up until 6:30... which was the last time I saw the clock before my alarm went off at 7:30. I woke up just in time to hear the toilet flush. Of course, I panicked again, thinking someone else was in the house, but after I woke up all the way I realized it was Eddie again.

Thursday was a LONG day. I was exhausted, and had a lot of work to do. I finally got most of it done, and was eager to head to the house. I had had a headache since I woke up at 3:30... so about noon I finally took one of my stronger painkillers... which has never had a weird effect on me. Until now. I felt awful, but my headache was gone! I started driving south, and stopped at my apartment knowing that there was no way I could comfortably make it all the way to Atlanta. After laying down for an hour, I felt a ton better, and actually enjoyed the evening with my sister! We tried out a great pizza place called Grant Central that was amazing. Thursday night I curled up on the couch with a book after watching Grey's, and Erma (gray cat) got pretty cuddly. I knew I was going to have a bad reaction, but the poor animals had been through quite an ordeal all week, so I didn't shoo her away.

Day #8 - TGIF

I love Fridays. Woke up feeling like I had something in my eye, so I flushed my eye really well with saline, then looked in the mirror to see my left eye swollen half way shut. Awesome. I knew I shouldn't have let Erma that close!! Oh well. It was Friday! Work was relatively simple, got everything done, and got back down Friday afternoon to enjoy the day. I read a lot, but other than that I honestly don't remember too much else. Mom came down, bringing Montana back, and we all did dinner, I think that was Friday, anyway...

Day #9 - House Hunting

FYI - Woke up to right eye swollen....

My sister is looking to buy a house, and I'm looking to move in with her... After a couple of days of looking at houses, I can completely understand why house-buying is among the top 5 most stressful things... and I'm amazed at what you get (or rather, don't get) for your money!! The housing market makes no sense to me.

Day #10 - TGIO - Thank God It's Over

Haha, I'm not totally serious, it wasn't as horrible as it sounds. It was a very interesting week, though, and I have laughed a lot at it... One more fun story, but I do not remember which day this happened... The neighbors had "calming sticks" to give to Stanley to help him calm down and sleep through storms. He loved them. And, so did I. He ate 5 of them (per instructions for weight) and about an hour later was like a sweet little drugged puppy. I sent the neighbors a text to let them know how well they were working... "Stanley is O-U-T!"

A couple minutes later, I hear someone yelling outside. I poke my head out the door, hear, "Staaaaaaaanleeeeeeey!" as my phone starts ringing--the neighbor is calling me.

"Hello?"

"Oh..."

"Um.. What?"

"Did you mean O-U-T like asleep? Or O-U-T like out of the house?"

"Hahahahaha... Stanley is asleep!"

"Oh!! We thought he had gotten out of the house. We are in our car driving around the block looking for him."

Oh. My. Goodness. What great neighbors, though, right? I assured them that if I did something like that, I would not be texting them, I would be calling!!

I really enjoying being in a house all week... and I was thrilled to be able to help out my sister's boss. The week did not go as planned, but assuming in the future the cats don't get stressed, it doesn't storm every day, and Atlanta doesn't flood... I might do it again. Call me Crazy.